ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
