This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
