He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
