Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
