In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
