he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
