Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
