I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
