If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
