Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Someone came in the potted fern
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
