My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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