During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
