I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
