I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
