It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
