i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
