Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
