I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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