I heard we made out
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
