he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
