this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
