I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
