Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Mom said you looked used
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
