We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
