Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
