You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
