if i can run in heels then i can drive
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
