hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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