and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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