So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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