Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
