You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
