We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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