Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
