I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
