Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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