he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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