He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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