woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
