I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
false alarm. still invincible.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
