I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
