we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
