Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
