Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
