I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
