Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
