guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
