What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
