Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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