U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm at about main and main street
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
